Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Perfectly Polished, Y'all

Here's the deal. I freaking love nail polish. Not as much as I love Sir Paul McCartney or my cat, Eleanor, but still.

Throughout my thick-banged, braces, junior high years, I usually skipped my fingers and just painted my toes. Ra!NbOw CoLoRs, duh.

During the awesome punk rock stage I went through when I was 14, I rocked black polish.

Of course, this is before black polish became chic. Pretty sure the majority of Hamilton, Texas USA thought I was starting to follow in the footsteps of Aleister Crowley and had a 666 on my skull.

ANYWAYS, these days I try really hard to keep my nails tidy and painted. I have really bad anxiety and chomp my nails down to nothing if I don't have some sort of polish or clear coat on them.

So, as a self-proclaimed nail polish junkie, I have decided to share my favorite colors with you fools.

1. Orly - Bonder: Okay, this isn't a color. It's a rubberized base coat that makes nail polish stay on for, uh, a long time. It keeps polish from chipping. I mean, there's nothing worse than feeling your nail polish chip off when you're washing your hair, AMIRITE?

2. OPI - Lincoln Park After Dark: This is still my all-time favorite nail color. It's a deep eggplant that isn't quite as harsh as a black polish, but still sort of mimics it. I've gone through so many bottles of this shiz.

3. Essie - Ballet Slippers: This is a perfect pinky-nude polish. That's all. Woof.

4. OPI - Vodka and Caviar: Red nails, classic. Hooker red, as my Nanny calls a good ol' red paint job. This is a cool red, as opposed to warm. I truly believe red nail polish goes with everything, especially a slinky, black cocktail dress and leopard heels. Just sayin'. Holla at yo gurl.

5. Revlon - Minted: It all started in 2009 with Chanel's Jade polish, which was, you know, expensive. Sorry, not spending 30 doll hairs on nail polish. Essie came out with a lighter version, Mint Candy Apple, and then Revlon came out with this color. I'm hooked.

6. OPI - Moon Over Mumbai: Is it grey? Is is iridescent? Is it kind of blue? Maybe lavender? Depends on the lighting. I LOVE this color so much. It has a tiny bit of shimmer without looking like a gawdy Bonne Bell nail polish (sorry, 11-year-old girls everywhere). I always get compliments when I wear this.

7. Sally Hansen - Bronze Ablaze: I'm not a big fan of metallic-y nail polish. I picture a bar fly named Sandy wearing it. However, this color doesn't scream trailer park. It's a nice bronze color with an olive green-ish tint to it. Just don't wear it if your nails are long or I'll buy you a boob tube and some blue eye shadow for Christmas.

8. Essie - Play Date: This is a crazy, whimsical purple that I wear when I'm feeling quirky and creative and stuff. Not really, I just wear it because it's purdy.

BOOM. There ya go.

Don't judge me, though. I'm writing this post with severely chipped fingernails.

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