Monday, November 19, 2012

Us

Ever since making the 2011-2012 Texas Tech Advertising Team in September 2011, we have become tight. Like, real tight. Like, we've had a group text message going since April. 

We are all very different people with very different interests and very different perspectives on life. However, we've become best friends because, well, we're weird. This collaborative blog was a genius idea we've been talking about for months. We think we're hilarious.

So, this is us. By us.
 

Caroline Lefebvre aka Maple Leaf
By: Jessica Stark

Maple and Snow White (before the restraining order)
A 22 year old who was pulled straight from a Disney movie who probably has Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen head on her nightstand. Pronounced La-fave, which is fitting since everything is her favorite. Except whales. So, be courteous if you take her ocean side and give her a harpoon and call her Ahab. Other interests include watching shows featuring the criminally insane, British stereotypes (accents, the royal family, corgis, etc.), and Taylor Swift's relationship status. She aspires to one day bake bread with Peeta while listening to a Harry Potter audiobook read by Gary Oldman. She will one day be an animator for Disney, although all her stories will end up being subliminal Canadian propaganda. As for her personality, Caroline is witty, whimsical, and like a big rainbow of happiness. She is thankful for the internet most of all. Also, she is a twin, so watch out for the ole twin switcheroo like the Parent Trap or that one episode of Sister Sister.

To keep up with Caroline's live-tweeting addiction, follow her on Twitter via @Carolinefev.



Meet Jessica Stark
By: Nicole Sever

Jessica Stark, yesterday
The first time I encountered Jessica was at an interview for the Texas Tech Advertising team. My first thought? “Damn, she’s good at math.” But as first impressions sometimes are, I was wrong: Jessica is a math GENIUS. She obviously made the Ad Team and slowly revealed all the things that make her so awesome. For starters, she knows more about super heroes than I could ever dream, and her weekly TV show routine designates her my Television Soulmate. Jess comes from a close-knit family in Borger, Texas, you know, the kind of family who runs their own world-famous snow cone stand. Her two sisters mean everything to her, but as the only Red Raider in the bunch, she’s a bit of a black sheep. But who couldn’t love this self-proclaimed, “cutest baby ever?” I’m not sure it’s possible to hate such a face. When she’s not busy writing equations in Excel spreadsheets or carefully analyzing sci-fi villains, you might find her playing tennis. Unless, of course, all The Duds happen to be in town; in which case you can find her at Chimy’s, where the score is always: Duds: 0, Chimy’s: 40…or however you relay tennis terms into too much alcohol. All in all, Ms. Stark the kind of quick-witted, kind-hearted friend who leaves you wondering if she really is related to Ironman… despite the fact that she tirelessly denies it.



Being Cabbage: The Megan Maxfield Biography
By: Rachel L. Bottlinger

How does one begin to describe Megan Maxfield? I mean, really. This is the girl I chased and tackled on Sixth Street at 2 AM last February.

Maxfield and her ex-fiancé
Megan Maxfield is part Ft. Worthian with a keen fashion sense and part Cabbage Patch Doll. Megan Maxfield dances on the stage with the band, especially if they are playing a Tom Petty song. Megan Maxfield once told a stranger that she was a transvestite. Megan Maxfield gets really uncomfortable when her t-shirt gets wet. Megan Maxfield attended an Aerosmith concert when she was a fetus. Megan Maxfield once drank a bottle of Riesling on my couch and signed up for Match.com just for “shits ‘n’ giggles.” Megan Maxfield gets free drinks by telling strangers she has her own reality show.

Nothing Megan Maxfield says or does surprises me. After knowing her for half an hour, my dad referred to her as a hellraiser, which is very true (just ask the past standards committee of her sorority).

As ridiculous as ol’ Tranny Maxfield is, she would do anything for her friends and family. If you mess with someone she cares about, she’ll drink lots of vodka and come after you. Beware, she’s packing a very large, black onyx David Yurman ring on her right hand that could cause a major shiner.



Nicoles Story
By: Megan Maxfield

Susan Nicole Sever, right after Tell asked for her hand in marriage
Here’s a story about a Gingerbread man who decided to procreate and have themselves a real ginger. Her name was Susan aka Wizard Sleever. See Susie had extraordinary powers with her red hair. She was a wizard. She had the powers to create nothing into greatness. Through her journey of life, Wizard Sleever had a tortured soul, one that would make her burst out in to flaming tears of red. No one could figure out the madness that was bestowed onto this talented ginger wizard. However, one night a tall mysterious fellow found Wizard Sleever in the basement of the mass communication building crying over a horrified ad design in comic sans that someone had designed. All she could scream was why, while the red tears bellowed down her snowy white skin. The tall mysterious fellow picked up Wizard Sleever and carried her away into the night and hushed her tears. This lad's name came to be Tell. He was a tall dark knight that could deal with any type of situation Wizard Sleever ran into because she was a ginger and had a lot of problems. Tell had courted Wizard Sleever for many years and decided that it was time to make her his wife. And now Wizard Sleever is engaged and fighting for the best wedding of her life, even though she is a ginger with snowy white skin with a very tortured soul that cries red tears. Gingers.



Rachel Bottlinger: The Abridged Kind Of Unauthorized Biography.
By: Caroline Lefebvre
                              

Disclaimer: Miss Lefebvre can be in no way sued for slander, libel, or defamation by Miss Bottlinger because she learned that shit in Mass Comm Law.

Bottlinger, before going to Chimy's last Friday
Rachel Bottlinger proudly calls Hamilton, Texas her home—which is questionable, considering she was born and partly raised in the Japanese countryside. Rachel arrived in the United States as a small child, found in a lifeboat along with a wild tiger, wrapped in a burlap sack soaked in Maker’s Mark. When she’s not busy devoting her time to the Texas Tech Meat-Judging team, you can find her watching and making Robert Duvall fan tribute vids on YouTube. Part Na’vi-part dwarf, she once spent a night in county jail after punching a girl in the trachea who told her she was a Beatles fan because she liked 2007’s “Across The Universe.” Rachel’s favorite childhood memories involve shooting Dublin Dr. Pepper bottles with her prized BB gun alongside her dearest cousin, Shaft. When she was eight, she started a wild fire in Hamilton after a botched Fourth of July firework endeavor involving a pair of sparklers and a severely intoxicated Abigail Breslin. She has a full-color tattoo on her left butt cheek of David Caruso, her first lover. Rachel has big dreams to move California and pursue her dream career managing Nicolas Cage’s finances. Needless to say, we all expect great things from her. And by “we”, the Delta Delta Delta Alumni Association, of which she plans to serve as National president.

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