Thursday, January 24, 2013

Cancelled TV Show Support Group

Today I was fortunate enough to accidentally stumble into a meeting for a support group of characters from television shows that were cancelled too soon.  I wanted to stay and observe without drawing attention, so I pulled out my Wonder Woman costume (to appear as if I were from the unaired NBC Wonder Woman pilot) and sat in the back to watch...

Captain Malcolm Reynolds started the meeting with an unsolicited shot in the air from his pistol.

"Now all y'all listen closely. I'll be taking over these here get togethers from now on since that little blue therapist, Tobias, got a near-miracle season renewal. Now I don't have a way with words like he did, so just start talkin' then."

Then a familiar figure from my childhood stood up.

"Hi everyone, I'm James Van Der Beek, and m,"

"Hello James." -said everyone else

"Sure, anyways, I'm James and my show got cancelled this week. We were all blind-sided. I was lucky enough to escape being forgotten into oblivion. But, I think I'm the only survivor."

While James quietly sobbed, I quietly put my Dawson's Creek poster back in my bag. Now was not the time for an autograph apparently.

A hooded figure stood and started reading off a prepared statement. "I just wish we could get along with the networks like we used to. I wish that I could make a cake made out of rainbows and hiatus breakers. And we'd all be happy..."

"HER SHOW DIDN'T EVEN GET CANCELLED" -I called out from the back

The hooded figure is revealed to be Liz Lemon and Casey Klein sneeringly asked, "did your show even get cancelled?"

They do not approve of
"No," she mumbled, "but tonight is our series finale and I just have a lot of feelings."

As Liz shuffled out of the room, BFF's Jessica & Lennon tripped her then high-fived each other while singing It's Raining Men.

Then, as she does every meeting, Erica Kane from All My Children smashed a glass against the wall and started yelling things like, "We had only been on for 40 years!" and "My evil twin never even got to steal one of my ex-husbands!'

I noticed everyone slowly getting up to leave while Erica went on and on. This was sadly the closer for each meeting.

And what is even sadder is that I will never be able to find that meeting ever again. It moves around the world randomly, like a certain island, so it gets lost from time to time. Get it? It's a pun.

1 comment:

  1. Why The Beek should always be on TV: