Saturday, January 5, 2013

Taylor Swift's 2013 (OMG. 13.) New Year Resolutions

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In honor of the New Year, I had the incredible imaginary opportunity to speak with ex-country-pop-star-0.5% hipster-phenomenon Taylor Swift. With her newest album Red released this past autumn (one of her FAVORITE seasons), a suspiciously convenient new relationship with One Direction member and teenager, Harry Styles...2013 looks to be yet another lucky year for the 23 year old music artist, which she never seems to possibly fathom or anticipate—but most especially considering her favorite number is 13, a fact which she repeatedly reminded me during the entire duration of our imaginary Parisian cafe coffee date . Swift discussed her goals and hopes for 2013, howmuch she loves 13, and her compiled list of resolutions for this year.  

Taylor Swift’s 2013 (OMG. 13.) New Year Resolutions.

Teach Harry how to talk to squirrels.
Spend more time perfecting my surprised face.
Work on the next volume of my boyfriend scrapbook
Cut off some of Harry’s hair for said scrapbook.
Throw out all the things that smell like Conor and his high school uniform.
Knit a sweater for my cat that smells like gardenias.
Be at peace with the fact that Conor and I broke up because he got tired of me doodling on his arms with a Sharpie.
Stop calling Ethel to say hey every morning. :(
 Restock my drawer of red lipstick. Put some on my cat.
Write a song about that guy with the bangs who made my gingerbread latte three weeks ago.
Buy more things with stripes and earthy flowers.
Call Maggie to see how Jake’s doing because I’m just wondering.
Be more daring andwrite a song about how daring I am.
Drink an entire glass of alcohol.
Text John to see how he's doing because I'm just wondering.
Color my cat’s nails with blue Sharpie.
Have Harry teach me cuss words.
Go to the zoo everyday with Harry and write a song about how fun we are.
Write more songs about haters.
Make my cat a cupcake out of tuna.
Text Harry’s mom more. Write a song for her.
Buy more dresses because I’m running low.
Catch up with B.O.Bover a cup of tea.
Go do grown-up things and then write a song about how much I don’t like doing those things.
Spend more time telling people how excited I am.
Call Conor to see how his college admissions are going because I’m just wondering. 
Finally open myself up completely to Harry now that I'm absolutely over Conor and no longer afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt. Write a song about it.
Knit a sweater for Harry made out of ribbons and Christmas wrapping paper to show him how much I want to be with him forever. When he laughs, write a song about his laugh.
Be more considerate of others. Especially when I'm discussing what it's like to be my age with other regular people who are actually my age.

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A special thank you to Taylor for thoughtfully giving me her imaginary time. HAPPY NEW YEARS, EVERYONE.

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