Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wedding Planning: My New Fear of Candid Photos

It's been a few weeks since I posted all my biggest wedding nightmares. Since then, I've had three wedding showers that have allowed me to develop a new fear: candid photos. Unlike my other wedding nightmares, this one is 100% inevitable. At each shower, I've passed off my camera to someone willing to help document the special moments. Amidst all the great photos, there's also A LOT of candids. What I learned about myself after going through these photos is that...unless the camera has my full attention, I pretty much look disgusting. Talking? I make terrible facial expressions. Eating? Awful. Opening/reacting to gifts? Those are the worst. Especially when I'm really excited about the gift. 

The Duds and I basically hate anyone who actually looks good in candid shots. I mean, I think maybe you have to sell your soul to the devil in exchange for good candids. So if you do take good ones, I'm not saying you made a deadly bargain, but actually, that's exactly what I'm saying. You should probably rethink some things in your life.

To illustrate my point (and subject myself to crushing humiliation), I've decided to share with you the very worst candid shots of myself from these three wedding showers. This is a Duds Exclusive. Count yourself lucky, as normally, I would have deleted these upon immediate viewing. 

In my defense, why was this even taken?
Oh, just Jay Leno's chin, photobombing my face.
Can we agree that NO ONE looks attractive while eating/chewing? in point.
I feel like I need an intervention for often I make this face.. and oh
hey, again, Leno chin.
...I was really excited...which makes this photo a devastating blow
to my self esteem & makes me never want to get excited about
anything ever again.
and in the final, most awful one of all, you see that it turns out that
moms tell you to "sit like a lady" for VERY good reasons. 
Now that I've shared the most awful photos of my life with you, I feel the need to undo some damage. Here are three photos, one from each shower, where I don't look like a complete shithead:

So it turns out, I don't need facial reconstruction...but at least you know I didn't make any shady deals with the underworld. If nothing else, my candid shots should send your self esteem soaring through the roof. Meanwhile, I'm googling tips for good posture.


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