Thursday, May 23, 2013

Jessica Reflects on Drop Dead Gorgeous



I watched Drop Dead Gorgeous for the first time this week. I am disappointed in myself for not having it in my life this whole time. If you haven't watched it, take the next 2 hours, watch it, then come back and read this post. Don't worry, I have time to wait. There were so many great moments from this 90's classic. Wait, can we call 90's movies classics yet? Has enough time passed? Yes, you say? Cool.

First, the contestants of this beauty pageant (brought to you by Sarah Rose Cosmetics, copyright) are pretty darn determined for that crown. Think about it. Their competition keeps dropping like flies, yet these girls keep trucking. This could be because they aren't the best and brightest of Minnesota though. Maybe "determined for the crown" isn't the exact phrase I want to use. Maybe "too distracted by the sparkly crown to notice anything" is better. Here's an example. For the assignment of "pick your favorite part America," this girl chose a ball of twine. I can't even handle it.

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MURICA


ALLISON JANNEY IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST WOMEN EVER. DON'T QUESTION HER.

Especially when she's gettin' her hair did.


I think one lesson we can all learn from this movie is pretty simple: If a beer can has been fused to your hand from a fire, make the most of a situation and use it as a deadly weapon. If you don't want to use your new power for evil, then just use it teach your self-conscious daughter a quick lesson.




Can we talk about how this happened? About how a beauty pageant contestant twirled around in a poodle skirt, singing "Can't Take my Eyes off You" a life-size stuffed Jesus, that was on a cross, that rolls across the stage, and arms that detach to hug the singer. I could keep going with the insanely comedic nature of this scene, but... actually that was a lie. I can't go on. Excuse me while I lol all over the place.

This is the desperate cry of a future spinster


To sum up, great movie. I'll leave you with this moment:



Peace out girl scouts,





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