Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Baby On Board

I'm not pregnant. Since you're here, let's talk about these:

I mean, congrats on your new kid and all. I know you probably want to be super careful with it and support its neck and protect it from meteors and all that jazz...but really, what is the purpose of telling me your baby is in your vehicle? 

By giving me this information you're expecting what? For me not to slam my vehicle into yours at full speed? Because I do that to all the other cars? IT'S A SHAME YOUR BABY IS ON BOARD, I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO A FRIENDLY GAME OF BUMPER CARS ON MY DRIVE HOME THIS EVENING. ...Like I just drive around looking for cars to test out my in-hood grenade-launcher on but since you have a baby on board, I GUESS I'LL TRY THAT OUT ON SOMEONE ELSE.

It's a little condescending, no? The fact that somewhere in their minds these parents think that if I'm accidentally about to slide into their vehicle, I'll see their "Baby On Board" sign and somehow gain super powers that allow me not to hit them? Newsflash: I'll always try my hardest NOT to hit someone...whether there's a baby or not. 

So, in conclusion, I'd like to see less of those and lots more of this:

Happy Wednesday,


  1. I’m getting you one of these the second you tell me that you’re pregnant.


    Can I not make this into a link? Sad sauce.