Thursday, July 18, 2013

Pros and Cons of Spinsterhood

Spinsterhood (n): The livelihood of a single woman who may or may not own multiple cats.
Alternate definition: A woman who's occupation is spinning.


As a member of this society, I had to figure out a way to explain the complexities of singledom. So guess what the left side of my brain did? It made a list!

Pro: Anytime you want to go shopping at Target, you can!

Con: You actually go. And your bank account hates you.

Pro: If you want to think about getting a pet, like a bird, great!
Look how fluffy and adorable.

Con: You don't get a pet, and instead end up talking to your houseplant while you slowly, unintentionally kill it.
Readers, this is Fern. Fern these are the readers.

Pro: Nobody messes with your Netflix account and that episode of Downton Abbey you didn't finish last night is still paused in the exact same place when you return tomorrow.

Con: You paused said episode of Downton Abbey because you started to sympathize with Edith and it scared you a little.
By request. Thanks, joshwatchintv.
Poor Edith

Pro: You get to jam out to Beyonce's classic "Single Ladies" and dance like no one is watching!

Con: Except that everyone is watching, because you're at a wedding and about to have a bouquet hurled at your head. So maybe hold back on the dancing. Because you probably look like this:

Peace out girl scouts,

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