Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Adventures in Chutney

Tell and I have a vegetable garden in our backyard. We literally have one zillion tomatoes. Like, no human can consume all the tomatoes we have back there. I was supposed to take a bunch of them to work to give my coworkers but I have this problem where I can't remember to do things, so I haven't. So, on Tell's day off, I get a phone call:

Tell: "You forgot the tomatoes again."
Me: "I know. Sorry."
Tell: "That's okay. I'm gonna make chutney."
Me: "um...ok"

Does anyone know what chutney is? I do not. But I don't like sounding dumb so I'm just like "ok" when in my head I'm picturing the girl from Legally Blonde who killed her dad:

"I didn't hear the gunshot because I was in the shower."
So I'm on my way home when I get another call from Tell asking me to pick up some raisins. At this point, I'm getting a little skeptical of the chutney because the only ingredients I'm aware of are tomatoes and raisins, and that sounds like maybe one of the worst food combinations on the planet. But I'm almost home and I think to myself that Tell's going to have some answers on my chutney qualms. Honestly, my best guess for its use was as a spread on bagels. I guessed this because can't you totally imagine Kate Middleton being all "I'd like a bagel with chutney, and just a spot of tea." ? 

I walk into the house. It smells like tomatoes and Christmas morning. I get to the kitchen where Tell is standing over our very biggest pot/cauldron. I hand Tell the raisins and ask, "hey, what is chutney?" He responds, AND I QUOTE, "I don't know." 
Tell, IRL
Cool. Good. Since we have enough to feed all the 5th graders in a 20 mile radius. Next, we did what any full-grown adult would do. We called our moms. Basically, you can use it to cook pork loin and meatloaf and stuff like that. NOT on bagels.

Chutney. Not a British bagel spread.
So if any of you guys need to bake a few dozen meatloaves...give us a call.

Happy Wednesday,

1 comment:

  1. Oh my dear sweet angel, I do love you! could you hear my chuckles?