Thursday, January 16, 2014

Best & Worst of the Globes

Did you guys know I'm a fashion guru? Just kidding, I cycle through the same four (okay, three) pairs of dress pants every week. Do you want to see my best and worst dressed from the Golden Globes anyway? Of course you do.


Amy Poehler, DUH.
The hostess of my dreams & a perfect angel in this black dress because I super love when people dress their age, but still look HAWT. A+ times infinity.
Emma Watson
Because, not only did her dress have pockets, BONUS, she got to wear pants. Her dress was basically a blanket under which she could sit indian-style. (Are we supposed to say Native-American style?) Whatever, she looked both beautiful and comfortable. 25 gold stars.
Leslie Mann
Also appropriately dressed for her age, gurlfriend was lookin' awesome. And although I do love the dress, those arms are what put her here. #blessed
Sosie Bacon
Miss Golden Globes was perfection in this dress, and as if she wasn't cute enough, her parents introducing her on the red carpet was so cute I ran down the street screaming about it. 

Olivia Wilde
Basically, she looks like a mer-goddess and I was so blinded by her beauty I didn't even notice that she was pregnant until the Duds were screaming at me in the group text about it. 

BONUS: Kerry Washington
Also a delicate pregnant flower, I could not get over her in this dress. 

Heidi Klum
No to the bangs. No to the choker. No to the train. It looks like Victoria Secret made your dress. It really serves you right to look bad once and a while for all those times I was forced to stare at you inside the dressing room at that God-forsaken place. 

P.S. If any executives from Victoria's Secret are reading this, whose brilliant idea was it to hang those photos in the dressing rooms? "Let's make them stare at supermodels while they try to find a decent-fitting bra under lights that enhance all their cellulite, MUAHAHAHAHA"
Kaley Cuoco
I didn't know Ed Hardy had a formal-wear line. 
Zoe Saldana 
I'm not feeling this look for her, but it was super sweet to wear her niece's home-ec class project to the Globes. 
Melissa McCarthy
This dress just looks like her scarf got caught in a car door on the way there, and gurl, wear your hair down plz.
Berenice Bejo 
Maybe she did some extreme weight-loss right before the Globes, and for that, I congratulate her, but this dress does not fit. Not only does it not fit, what is it? Why is there a collar? Why are there flowers all over it? Why?
Bonus: The Lady Behind Emma Watson


1 comment:

  1. That last pic got a loud laugh out of me!! (To laugh out loud when you're all alone seems a little weird!?) I can just imagine that I'm the idiot there with my purse wide open--and her mouth just as wide open!