Facebook, Shmacebook Pt. 2
Remember this post when I rambled on about how much I don’t like Facebook? I’m back.
MORE reasons why I want to delete my Facebook.
Fun Factz! LOL! Recently, my newsfeed was flooded with people listing off “about me” facts. A lot of the facts people shared made me feel super awkward. I was so tempted to make my own list.
1. I take baths when I’m sad.
2. I got kicked out of Chimy’s when I was 21 for falling asleep in the bathroom.
3. After my first knee surgery, I fell out of my wheelchair in Band and everyone laughed at me.
4. I can kick myself in the head.
A couple of weeks after that, my newsfeed was flooded with “random facts about my pregnancy” posts. Childless and confused, Whitley Quigg and I googled some of the terms used in these pregnancy posts and not gonna lie, I threw up in my mouth a little bit at one point. Again, I was tempted to make my own list.
1. I adopted my cat when I was 19. I was bored one day.
2. Before picking up Eleanor from the animal shelter, I got gas and ate a salad from Whole Foods.
3. Eleanor runs laps around my apartment after she takes a dump.
4. Being a cat mom has been such a wonderful experience, except sometimes I want to dropkick Eleanor off my apartment balcony when she bites me in the middle of the night.
TMI posts. I seriously do not understand why some people treat Facebook as a diary. It’s not your diary. It’s social media. People can see that. PEOPLE CAN SEE THAT. Okay, okay, I can let it slip if you’re under the age of 17. But if you’re older than that: what the hell, man? STOP IT. Seriously, though. If your status is something emo like I had an awful day, yadda yadda, there is a good chance I will like it. Because I crack myself up.
People who leave jerk comments. I feel like we all have one of those friends. You know, who takes the time to leave an asshole comment on your Facebook status. Like, I am so passionate about crafting the perfect d-bag comment to leave on your status because I am lonely and have no life. I will straight up cyber bully your ass if you do that to me. Like the time I called a guy a d-word for trash talking Tech. My mom got really mad at me for that one. Sorry, Mom.
TBH posts. You know, “To Be Honest”. This is popular with the younger crowd. In case you don’t know how it works, a person will post a status that’s like “I’m so bored, TBH :)” and people will like it. If you like it, that person will right a something on your wall. “TBH: your hair is so pretty and you’re so funny and nice and cool and stuff”. Yeah, that’s how it works. I’m not gonna lie, though. I have liked a couple of these posts before, of course that was after a few Maker’s and diets. Nothing like waking up to a wall post from a 15-year-old saying you have pretty hair and good fashion sense. BOOM.
Poking. This feature has been around since I first joined Facebook. Back when statuses required you to talk about yourself in third person. Rachel Bottlinger is about to kill herself because she has an Atmospheric Science exam and a Freshman Composition paper due tomorrow. If you’re one of my good friends, go ahead, poke me. If you’re an acquaintance whom I barely know and you poke me: