Thursday, October 2, 2014

Were you trying?

Hi. Since I last graced the internet with my manic ramblings, I've had some pretty life-changing stuff going on this summer– I cut four inches off my hair, I'm budgeting, I've gotten really good at doing all the laundry in one day, oh, and uh, I started growing a human inside my body. It's all really chill.

But really I'm having a baby in April and I solemnly swear not to post weekly updates of my belly if everyone else solemnly swears to tell me my baby is hawt even in those first couple weeks when he/she still looks kind of..ya an alien. Thanks in advance.

Mainly, I'm writing because I feel the need to have a little intervention with you guys. Think back to the last time someone told you they were pregnant (hint: it was me, 3 seconds ago). A question popped in your mind. It's okay. We all think it:

"Were you trying?"

This question also comes in the form of "Was it planned?", "Was it a surprise?", and my personal favorite, "I didn't know you were trying!" (Well, I didn't know I was supposed to put out a press release.) All perfectly natural questions because we're all human and we're all insanely curious. But let's take a moment to step back and think about what you're asking. Because chances are, your now-pregnant bud was either keeping calendars and logs of womanly functions and planning out adult fun times with a variety of iPhone apps, or, just doin' it frequently enough to score the goal. Either way, your question basically translates to "please tell me about the sexual strategy that led you to this outcome." 

It's weird. And it's not that I get angry... it's that I get crazy awkward when I'm expected to answer. I promise you that most pregnant ladies would agree. It's one thing if a couple volunteers that information, but it's another when you're just word-vomiting because you don't know what else to say. So practice word-vomiting a less invasive message like, "Congrats! Can I get you like a donut?" and then go on speculating in your own brain. 

Me, every day
Love (despite your awkward questions),

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